Spike's Mini-Cashgrab of the Day: Shinedown

When I was trying to make my dirty brown stain on the East Bay scene in AIDS Blanket, I always thought to myself, "fuck, I don't actually wanna have to write my own music to make it big." I realized I'm either:
a) too lazy
b) have 24 different unknown substances floating around inside me at any given time

or

c) I just wanna pay someone else to write this shit so I can get the credibility, fame, and all the hot topic sponsored hooker tag teaming that a grown man can stand.

Well, that shitty metal band Shinedown has clearly chosen "c". They hired a buncha studio musicians to play on their records, then had to practice those songs until they could actually PLAY them before going on tour behind them. Yet another Paramore-type situation that was put together to rope in more of the Three C's for the record execs--Cash, Coke, and C-hookers (alright the last one may or may not actually make any sense, but what else do you expect from a man who has to roofie himself to sleep every night?).

My source for this? Source?!? What are you some sort of fucking test tube baby?! What are my sources....how about every single studio musician in LA?! They're all pointing and laughing at the failure pile that is Shinedown. Seriously, it's not publicly known, but everyone involved with studio recording in LA will confirm it.