Sunday, September 25, 2011

Spike Presents, "Music Pre-Pose Out Echoplex Vegan Smilecore Bullshit"

Due to the success of California Über Alles, Dead Kennedys were invited to perform at the Bammies, the Grammies of San Francisco, which Biafra describes as San Francisco's "backslapping circus banquet." During dress rehearsal, DKs ran through their current hit, but when got onstage, they treated the audience ( full of music industry bigwigs and mainstream rock acts such as Journey) to a scathing attack of the music industry, in a song called "Pull My Strings" composed especially for the occasion.


[During their performance, the Dead Kennedys wore white shirts with the letter S painted on the front. On the recording of the song, once "Pull My Strings" begins the audience can be heard cheering in response to the band members pulling their black neckties from behind their backs in front of them, making a dollar sign.]


The song, recorded live at the awards show, begins with the band playing the opening chords to "California Über Alles". After the first few bars, Biafra yells out "Hold it!" and sarcastically tells the audience that they're becoming a New Wave band because they "need to prove [they're] adults now". Klaus Flouride begins to play another bass line, and a new song begins.

Biafra begins singing about him not being able to afford a car thanks to his self respect, and decides to sell out to the record companies to make some money ("I'm tired of self respect, I can't afford a car, I wanna be a pre-fab superstar"). He decides to become one of the cookie cutter new wave acts breaking into pop music at the time. The chorus implies that the musicians in the new wave bands need to be dumb and have a large penis, and are able to be pulled by strings like a puppet because they've sold their souls to the record labels, who basically can now mold them in whatever they (the labels) want them to be.

One of the targets of the Dead Kennedys in the song appears to be The Knack, who hit big around that same time with "My Sharona". Twice in the course of the song, in its middle and at its end, a bridge is played to the tune of "My Sharona", with Biafra singing the word "drool" to the tune of it and replacing "My Sharona" with "my payola". Biafra also makes a sarcastic reference to the hypocrisy and drug abuse of the American bourgeoisie, referencing famous comedian Bob Hope with the line "And when I'm rich and meet Bob Hope, we'll shoot some golf and shoot some dope".

This was the only time they ever played the song, despite its popularity.

Greg Ginn: Hurling His Fans Into Brick Walls Since 1979

Defending a horrible, Black Flag reunion show/cat shelter benefit, which got slammed by the music press for lacking the involvement of almost all of the other Black Flag members, using pre-recorded basslines, and generally just being a complete pile of shit, Ginn dumbfoundingly claimed,

"I don't like hanging around cynical people. They'd never do something for a cat, so they can't understand that."

Further evidence that Greg Ginn is a human dickbag can be found within the 8 years worth of obscure Black Flag articles HERE online.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Cashgrab of the week: Buddyhead.com

How do you squeeze more heroin out of your local hipster?

Step 1: Have no taste in music.
Step 2: Don't start band Start music page.
Step 3: Take photo of self in wife beater or failing that post-coitus feline sex.
Step 4: Tell people what kind of music to like then don't be open to other people's opinions.
Step 5: Aol Skag from Huffington Post!!1
Step 6: Try to act like a bad ass Punk Rocker but really be some sad fuck living a boring life.
Step 7: Pull the Plug on any band you don't like.


Also, make a wikipedia that says you're openly gay. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Travis_Keller That definately helps.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Extra! Extra! Sunset Junction Cancelled! Gibby Haynes Furious Over Lack of Human Piss Targets!

http://www.tgdaily.com/games-and-entertainment-features/58134-unplugging-sunset-junction-street-fair-is-cancelled

Hey kids, want to see LA city government corruption in action? Visit this site here.

excerpt:
The five-member panel appointed by Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa cited concerns over unpaid fees from last year’s event in their denial of the permit. According to an official statement made today by Sunset Junction, one week prior to the 2010 Sunset Junction festival, the organization was given a bill from the city for $267,000—an unprecedented amount in the 31-year history of the street fair. The organization subsequently requested an itemization of the fees from the city, and claims that the fees were “inflated more than 10 times that of comparable LA festivals” and that the fees billed for the police were “questionably inflated.” These concerns were addressed at today’s permit hearing.

Kevin Rutmanis' Questionable Racial Comments

http://www.markprindle.com/rutmanis2-i.htm

Monday, July 25, 2011

Cash Grab of the Week: Noel Gallagher Needs to FUCKING STOP already

Guess who just released the first single off of their new solo record? If you guessed "someone I might actually give a fuck about" you're WRONG. No kids, it's Noel Gallagher and his randomly named High Flying Birds here to bum everyone out with acoustic shitrock:



In case you can't play the YouTube video posted above here, let me describe what it sounds like to you: it sounds like Noel Gallagher's fucking career ENDING is what it sounds like. Man, this shit wouldn't even cut it as a Heathen Chemistry b-side. Boring drums, virtually no electric guitar, shit lyrics, awkward horn solos for no reason...could someone finally tell Noel Gallagher about 16th notes? At least Nickelback has distorted guitars in their songs, this is just 4 minutes of cheesy strings and plodding drums even Tony McCarroll wouldn't have to strain himself to play. Why is this a single? Better yet, why was this even recorded?! You can tell he spent longer shooting this video than he probably did on recording the entire album. Get ready to buy this album from that rack next to the counter at Starbucks that holds all those Amy Grant and fucking Enya albums.

This new album is just going to be a bunch of weepy ballads from a sad old bastard. I'd rather listen to fucking Coldplay.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Cash Grab of the Week: Spike Andersons

Yeah fucko, you read that right: "Spike Andersons." Plural. As in, multiple fuckbags who are trying to cash in on the Spike Anderson Media/Needle Empire by using my name. Damnit, this is going to hurt sales of Spike's Cokegate Toothpaste (the only paste that lets you brush your teeth AND rub coke into them at the same time). So I guess I'm famous now or something. How do I know? Because I've been getting a lot of hits lately. Also, people have been visiting the website a lot.

What the fuck man, what's with all these people trying to steal my name by being born with it?! And really, who would be born with a name that bad? I wasn't even born with it, myself--I was born Needle Fuckbag Anderson, and I had to change my name to keep people out of my stash.

But I guess that didn't work, because now all the cash or westwood-style rubdowns that would normally come my way are going to this NAMBLA club roster:


First of all, I don't what the fuck he's doing to that dog, but it looks like he's showing it the kind of love only a 60 year old air force pilot from Texas could show it: corn-holing.




Hey, it's fuckin' Rivers Cuomo using his Target t-shirt and 'lude supply to pick up "the bitches." I'm pretty sure the one on the right is the lead singer of Rush.



The Grand Dragon of Wichita here seems like he's using my name to sell investment advice. My investment advice to him is to invest in getting a second hot plate for the methlab you call an office.



And finally there's this guy. I guess he's out there looking for underaged twinks or manning his Meth Lab, I don't fucking know.

The Spike Anderson T-shirt

The Spike Anderson T-shirt
click image to email us with your shirt size and color for a $20 shirt