Cash Grab of the Week: Replacing Real Music With Some Shithead DJ

Spike Anderson loves DJs.

Oh jesus oh god no, already it's sentance one and he's contradicted himself, you're thinking. And so what? You can second guess a man with lungs full of diesel fumes all you want, but you can't fight the wisdoms of my latest business venture.

Ask yourself this: why manage bands when you can just have one guy play other people's music all night and make the same 97.001% cut with an all-access pass to the craft-services table? Bands are full of uppity young fucks, and none of them take well to my patented hands-on-throat management style.

Own a stereo? Then you're a DJ. Better learn how to stare vacantly at a bunch of hipsters pretending not to care, because you're on at the Echo for a 4 PM set. You're on after DJ iPod Shuffle. Hey, it takes talent to pick an LP out of crate and set it on a record player. My cut. Fucking. I want. Now!