Cash Grab of the Week: Lady Gaga

Well, shit, It's about time someone made a piece of film that references the holocaust which in and of itself is worse than the actual holocaust. I'm speaking about Lady Gaga's incredibly boring, bloated, money drain of a video for "Alejandro".



Guess what? Madonna's career is over and no one misses her, you cunt. She, David Bowie, and a million other people have already done what you're doing years before you did it. And why is it that every fuckbag on the face of the planet seems stuck in the 80's right now? We've got the annoying ironic fashion, overproduced shitty dance music, and now Madonna's come back and she looks like a rat that's been died blonde and fed coke through a feeding tube for 20 years. What's next? The return of kangol hats, love songs that refer to your girlfriends' vagina as "cherry pie," and Spandau Ballet?

Oh yeah, and the artistic integrity of Lady Gaga? Apparently it's now brought to you by Polaroid -- In January 2010, she was named chief creative officer for a line of imaging products for Polaroid, stating that she will create fashion, technology and photography products. It's great that your music career is just a launch pad for your career as a salesman.

By the way, it's great that Lady Gaga has so much of a say in her music, fasion choices, blah blah blah I don't really give a shit. Well apparently she doesn't much of a say in these things, because it came out in an interview that she had to ask her record company nicely so she could shoot the photos for her album the way she wanted to. I quote: "Cover artwork was done by Hedi Slimane and has a gothic look which Gaga had to convince her record company to allow her to shoot." First sign of a real artist? Having to ask permission to make their art. I know that right before Jimi Hendrix got on stage at Woodstock he put in a call to Reprise Records to ask if it was alright with them beforehand. Jesus, he'd probably laugh until the needles fell out of his veins at the idea that anyone would have to ask permission to shoot a fucking photo session.

She's fucking profound n' shit, too. Like...deep man. Yeeeeah. Check out the text of her tattoo of a Rainer Maria Rilke quote:

In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
—Rainer Maria Rilke

I respect you much more as an actor now, Lady Gaga, because it takes real talent to convince people you can actually fucking read. Of course, the quote is of one English translation. The real German probably reads more like this:

"Poker Face" is the audio equivalent of stepping on a pile of cold dog shit in the morning. Fuck, why is my name tattooed on this bitch?!? Right now I'm doing somersaults in my grave. Thanks.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

Anyway, this article says so much more about Lady Gaga than I ever could.