Collapsing Trust Funds

In the world of Spike Anderson, the piss jar is always half-full. Because I'm an optimist. Because I think my life is great. Because you are such a pile of shit by comparison. Fuck you!

Some people hate hipsters and do whatever they can to make sure they cut the drugs that they sell them with whatever was lying around the janitor's closet that I sleep in. But so what? You don't have to hate them, according to some fuck at the LA Weekly. Instead you can just...loathe them? despise them? What's another word for "kick their teeth in and steal their wallets?"

In the spirit of all of the ecstasy I choked down 4 minutes ago, here are some reasons to not hate hipsters:
1. ?
2. Their failures amuse me
3. Sometimes they actually come to shows and earn me my 850% cut.

Hey, number 3 ain't exactly going to fly what with Spaceland being sold off and all of LA's venues closing down. Hypothetical question for you: where are hipsters supposed to go when they're done eating their fair trade vegan bullshit? A shitty venue to see the next Shiloe-level catastrophe stand motionless on stage and stare at their equally motionless, shit-brained audience. The mass failure to do even that shows you that the poser level has hit "Ken Ramos" and keeps climbing.

As far as social movements go, the hipsters have really done a good job of killing good taste. The hippies had good music, the punks had good music, whatever the fuck people keep calling "grunge" was pretty decent...and now we're all stuck with Cobra Starship and the immense sense that nothing worthwhile is being said or played anywhere inside this country. That's why people hate fucking hipsters: BECAUSE WE NEED TO MOVE ON AND LOOK FOR SOMETHING NEW THAT'S WORTHWHILE.

"blind acceptance is a sign
of stupid fools who stand in line"
- John Lydon