Newsflash: Self-Proclaimed "Poser" Called Out on Being Human Cock Vacuum!

Anyone who claims that their real name is "Poser" has got some kind of mental problem, and not the good "Iggy Pop" kind of mental problem that makes you writhe around stage and punch Michigan bikers while you're wearing a spandex bodysuit. So ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Rivers Cuomo's number one fan--some fuckin' throwback who wants his shit band to sound like some sort of goddawful 50's record playing in the Ruby's Diner where your cousin found a cock-ring in his coleslaw. Traumatizing.

I met this man in a parking lot in Rosemead, and I gotta say I was impressed. A cold, pale, shivering guido Michael Jackson apparently unaware that it was 90 degrees out in the Starbucks parking lot, he offered me my first big break (and none of the oxycontin he'd probably been snorting all day in his car): "We've got a major label showcase we can play in my grandpa's tool shed." Well, the Spikester is full of regrets. Missed rails, Shiloe gigs where I could have hit Ken Ramos in the face with a boot and/or bottle of Steel Reserve...but never a regret about pissing all over the cock jockeys of the world who are just trying to dangle something in front of people to get them to play their shit music. Here is my final word, gloriously plastered all over this shithead's lies on music connection:

"this guy is so full of shit it's not funny. Major label showcase? I played with him about a year ago and apparently he's still looking for someone for this supposed showcase he's got lined up. What I want to know is, what would he do if he even played in front of people from a record label? His songs sound fucking godawful!"

Poser had this to say in response, "I just want what any weezer fan wants...to be 40 and still doing embarrassing shit like this. Yet, even after being a stupid useless dipshit for the last 15 years, releasing some of the worst music ever made, there are STILL enough brain dead fuckwads clamoring to buy my musical diaherria. Now, that's progress!!"

I will leave you with the knowledge that Weezer fans are sending some genius death threats simply for trying to stop this and this from ever fucking happening again!! If they let Weezer "craft" another album my favorite "mexican food" stand on pico won't be able to make enough heroin tacos to keep me from losing my shit completely. If Weezer doesn't ever make another album then...you're welcome.