Get Exotic & Bang The Cashier at Whole Foods

A story old as time. A few douchebags invade a newly gentrified neighborhood and use daddy's mastercard to be one with the earth, be one with humanity, bang some chicks, scrape off the herpes, and "slum" it with 100% post recycled stock boys from Whole Foods. "Try the petrified rainforest baby-jerky...its fair-trade!". Fuck you spunkbag, I'll stick to my cough syrup, caffeine pills, and gutter water.

Although, you have to admit a red head making an instructional video about how to brag about, make, and drink a native Argentinian drink is rather funny... or in hipsterfuck-speak "ironic". Although, not as ironic as you might think...the Argentinian government, in addition to giving "free" midnight rides into the sunset to its own citizens, have a long standing tradition of granting amnesty to Nazi's.

And now you've found something you can lord over your stupid trend-chasing, stimulant abusing, pasty vampire fuckbuddies. The Spikester was especially taken by this ginger's disillusionment of his small circle-jerk of friends' lack of knowledge about this worldly epicurean delight. Hey jizzcrust, I bet the short order cook making your chic vegan burrito at Vegan Express drinks it. Shit, even the guy who chases me off the YMCA lawn with a leaf blower drinks it....I mean for fucks sake, theres some pasty hipsterfuck band from Boston named after Yerba Mate. And they suck.....