In case you forgot Freedom ain't Free

Or at least that's what Julian Assange would be telling you...if he were allowed to but the judge denied him bail. That's good thinkin' Tex we can't let this little scumbag sandbag us. We also don't need more reasons to hate Hilary Clinton. We DO need more of Joe Lieberman making himself look like an asshole, that's pretty fucking funny. But, lets just get to the heart of this Julian...its all over for you. There are only two likely scenerios for your eventual daily beating and golden shower from your cellmate boyfriend Bubba. One way it could play out is that you have called the US Government out(rightfully) and will now see them seek unbelievable vengence on you because, well, they're pretty much run by the Mafia. The other way it'll go would be a little more interesting--you don't die(yet) and you become the next Alex Jones a cog in the disinformation campaign. At that point once you are no use to them they "let you go." If there is any justice, Julian, before you go down you take as many of these pig fuckers with you as possible. Good luck, did you sell my tickets to the Roxy yet?? I need the money by Friday. Fuck, where am I?! Jesus, the come down on this laundry detergent is a bitch....


your pal,

Spike

Jerry's Deli, They'll Fucking Give you Hepititis.

These are the times that try men's souls...good thing I don't have one....what with all the forced penetration, urine hoarding, and he-she rendezvous. But times are lean and I've resorted to snorting the last traces of Ludmila's personal stash of smuggled butt hash off of my limp johnson. Oh, I didn't tell you? I'm married...or was married...yeah, she's Russian, she's called Ludmila, and she came in the mail.

Ludmilla, the busted cherry of my eye.

It's amazing what an Eastern Bloc chick will do when you give her some back alley dental work and an Iron Maiden mix tape. Shhh.....its not really Iron Maiden - just some shit grind band from Pico Rivera. But yeah, I traded her to Sergie for a handful of raver drugs but that shit only lasted the bus ride to the blood bank. No complaints, I got 10 bucks for some plasma and a full release from all the needle play in the lobby. But that only got me as far as the liquor store for a bottle of Cobra.

But, back to my point....actually I don't have a point..well besides the one I used to bust some trust-fund cherries in the Amoeba Records parking structure. Yep, I hate to admit it but I had to get a job. Wait, no...a real job...one that doesn't involve exploiting your band & your trust fund or blowing CEO's in the back alley behind Tribal Cafe. So naturally I applied to the first and ONLY roach infested restaurant that would let me bathe in their kitchen sink and give a skag-haggler like me a job - fuckin' Jerry's Deli. You know, its amazing what Javier, the head "chef", will let you do in the meat freezer for a tube sock and a half full can of spray paint. FUCKING SANDWICHES!!1 I don't know what got into me. There I was - Shitloe started playing on KXLU, I had just slammed a fist full of Fontana biker dope, and I found myself geeking out over the pig meat. My shit-fondling boss was yapping about the finer points of prosciutto and how it's not safe to cook pcp by the propane tanks and next thing I know I'm involved in some sweet horizontal action with the ciabatta rolls. The mustard ended up down my pants and I deposited whats left of my sperm count on the pastrami.

I must have passed out because the next thing I know I woke up next to a poodle carcass in a Norm's dumpster. Anyway, long story short...if you ate or touched anything...and I stress ANYTHING from Jerry's Deli in Westwood, congratulations....you have a nasty skid row leper strain of Hepatitis. Its not Hep C so it'll only destroy your craving for one of Jerry's dumpster reserve sandwiches, not your liver.

Whatever he's on...trademark it, patent it, and put it in the Library of Congress

MADISON, Wis. – A rural Wisconsin man apparently enraged by Bristol Palin's "Dancing with the Stars" routine blasted his television with a shotgun, leading to an all-night standoff with a SWAT team, investigators said.

Steven Cowan, 67, was arrested Tuesday morning after officers coaxed him out of his house in Vermont, a rural community near Madison. Cowan, who is accused of threatening his wife with the gun after destroying the television, appeared in a Madison courtroom Wednesday on a charge of second-degree reckless endangerment. His bail was set at $1,500.

Cowan's attorney at the hearing, Jonas Bednarek, declined to comment.

Cowan's wife, Janice Cowan, told investigators that her husband suffers from bipolar disorder and had threatened her life in the past.

According to court documents, Janice Cowan said her husband came home Monday from the bar and had a beer with dinner before they settled down to watch "Dancing with the Stars."

When Palin, the 20-year-old daughter of tea party favorite Sarah Palin, began her routine, Cowan jumped up and began swearing, saying something like "The (expletive) politics." His wife said he was upset that a political figure's daughter was dancing on TV even though he felt she didn't have talent.

Janice Cowan told investigators her husband left the living room and reappeared 20 minutes later with his shotgun, "raging" with his face bright red, and blasted the TV. She said he then pointed the gun at her and told her to go fetch his pistols, and threatened to kill himself if she brought anyone back. According to the criminal complaint, Steven Cowan's daughter recently took away his handguns for safekeeping. It did not elaborate.

"He scared the bejebees out of me," she told detectives.

Janice Cowan fled the home and went to an attorney's office, where she phoned police.

She told officers that about 15 years ago her husband had threatened her with a machete when he couldn't find some ammunition and has threatened to shoot one of their cows.

She added he was under stress because of financial reasons, saying a doctor helping him with his mental health problems had suggested he temporarily turn over control of properties he rents out to the family's attorney. Calls on Wednesday to a number listed as the Cowans' could not be connected.

The Internet has been abuzz in recent days about how Bristol Palin, who has consistently landed at the bottom of the judges' leaderboard, has been able to remain on the ABC show. Some have suggested that voters — particularly supporters of her mother — have been voting in blocs and manipulating the system.

Both Palins have denied any organized vote-getting tactics. Bristol Palin says voters support her despite lackluster performances because she started the show with no dancing experience.

Behold A Pale Whore - Memoirs by Spike

Damn! I dreamt that I woke up swimming in a pile of reds and black beauties! The reality of the situation is that I actually woke up face down in a pile of half-chewed cocktail wieners and Jager. I swear that's the last time I cruise the Craigslist "Missed Connections" section looking for the power twink with daddy issues that caught my eye on that fateful autumn morning. Trust me, sausage and anise flavored liquor is not the throat-gasm drip you think it is. But then again, I'm used to having beef franks lodged in the back of my throat....sometimes for pay but mostly for play.

So, lamenting my existence, I decided to slam some methaqualone. Next, I wept and rubbed some seed over my collection of old handbills. Good times, but then two stuck together flyers caught my eye. As I peeled away the 1978 Halloween Show advert for my former band PLO Handjob, I found this picture underneath.



It is a Pakistan Airlines advert from the same year. Bad taste? Even worse than reclaimed dumpster meat? Or just the government shoving a cold cock in your ear.

Teabaggers: No Nuts, Not My Problem.

I know what you're askin. What the hell drugs are these Teabaggers ass slammin? Try this experiment. Take grandpa's tumbler and fill it with of Ammonium Nitrate. Now add a AA battery and put it in the microwave and press cook. Now while you're watching your house go up in flames slam an Ether/409/PCP cocktail up your urethra. Feel the burn cause you got the Rand Paul fever.

Which brings me to my point, its time for me to update the list of things teabaggers hate. So far, after a quick glance at the LA XXpress, we've established that the Tea Party hates black people, mexicans, vegetables, craft brew, actual currency, facts, admitting that their teenage daughter is pregnant-barefoot-married to a mexican and or black man, filtering their chain e-mails for racist and furpie content, reality, any gun that isn't fully automatic, school, college, advanced degrees that you earn in college, fluoride, and now women.

Shit, I haven't seen that many middle aged white men attack a woman with a pixie cut since the great Mendocino Snuff Film Festival of '79. I mean fuck, The Earthquake never even got that much velocity on his ass hammer.



And now straight from a black balloon, I'm hearing the man responsible for the "teeth on the curb" thuggery wants an apology from the victim. That takes balls- And in a perfect world, those balls should be whacked off like el gordo swingin' away at his birthday pinata!

Commentary About Mitt Romney's Secret NAMBLA Manifesto

Hey, everyone. I'm Bryan Sellers, a friend of Spike's. He's in critical condition here at the church's shelter after listening to the entire discography of No Age, but before he passed out he said something about updating his blog for him. He also whispered something about "putting the ice in him", but I'm not exactly sure what that means. Anyway, I thought I would honor his wishes by posting an editorial I wrote here. If you feel inclined, you can print out what I wrote and send it into one of the few decent papers out there like the Wall Street Journal, Washington Times, or the Orange County Register. You know, something with small words, big ideas, and a lack of interest in anything fun or intelligent. Anyway, here it is:
==================================================================
"Mitt Romney: Determined Rapist or Potential Rape Conspirator?"
by Bryan Sellers

Mitt Romney has always harbored a deep loathing for the Christian mainstream, ever since he was ridiculed for his religion during his childhood. As a Christian and a Republican myself, it disturbs me to know that he is considered a viable candidate for the presidency even though he has publicly stated that he "plans to enforce mandatory polygamy throughout the country at gunpoint" during his tenure as president. Whatever his stated intentions, it is his faith alone to which he is loyal -- the Mormon Church aided his ascent in politics, so favors are owed in a way that goes beyond simple tax breaks and the useage of executive priveledges. Mitt Romney's presidency would see the country turned into a facist theocracy of Latter Day Saints hell-bent on replacing the Holy Bible with the Book of Mormon. This claim is not as outrageous as it seems, considering that the state of Utah already has several Mormon faith-based laws in place which act as legislated Mormon doctrine. During the Romney Presidency, any man, woman, or hapless animal found ingesting any kind of alcohol will be sent to a gulag in the middle of Death Valley where they will be forced to manufacture Romneyan political materials until his reign is withdrawn. And let's not even get into his plans to fill the cabinet with protestors against the inclusion of black students from Brigham Young University...

Romney's potential is already waning. Eyebrows have been raised, secret NAMBLA memberships have been questioned. The final question I pose to the reader is this: how does a staunch conservative become Governor of the very liberal state of Massachusets? Obvious funding and support from the Mormon Church, the same which allowed Proposition 8 to pass in the liberal state of California. Though that proposition is supported by conservatives, the means to that end need to be questioned. A political machine has begun to take form in the state of Utah, and it might end with the adoption of many young women across the country as the Brides of Mitt. Why else would Romney want to keep guns out of the hands of the public (although he has recently flip-flopped on the issue merely to superficially appease the Republican Party)? When the shadow Mormon Illuminati comes knocking on your door, you won't have anything in your house to keep the roving Mormon death squads at bay. To quote the man himself about the fate of Christians and other non-Mormon individuals, ""I want them in Guantanamo where they don't get the access to lawyers they get when they're on our soil. I don't want them in our prisons. I want them there." (cited from Reuters May 16, 2007 http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/N16430098.htm)

Be warned, the coup might be coming in 2012. My compound in the Virgnia woods is stocked and ready to be locked down for the next 55 years of Romney's vile dictatorship/child-molestation trust/pervert campaign. How about you?