In case you forgot Freedom ain't Free

Or at least that's what Julian Assange would be telling you...if he were allowed to but the judge denied him bail. That's good thinkin' Tex we can't let this little scumbag sandbag us. We also don't need more reasons to hate Hilary Clinton. We DO need more of Joe Lieberman making himself look like an asshole, that's pretty fucking funny. But, lets just get to the heart of this Julian...its all over for you. There are only two likely scenerios for your eventual daily beating and golden shower from your cellmate boyfriend Bubba. One way it could play out is that you have called the US Government out(rightfully) and will now see them seek unbelievable vengence on you because, well, they're pretty much run by the Mafia. The other way it'll go would be a little more interesting--you don't die(yet) and you become the next Alex Jones a cog in the disinformation campaign. At that point once you are no use to them they "let you go." If there is any justice, Julian, before you go down you take as many of these pig fuckers with you as possible. Good luck, did you sell my tickets to the Roxy yet?? I need the money by Friday. Fuck, where am I?! Jesus, the come down on this laundry detergent is a bitch....


your pal,

Spike

Target: the new Ameoba Records

If there were any justice in the world the only singing these fuckers would be doing is thru a Del Taco intercom asking what kind of sauce you want on your macho burrito or letting you know what time "Sparkles" will be hitting the stage at Jumbo's Clown Room.
Well you know...injecting coke into your ironic neck tattoo doesn't pay for itself! So when the funds are low and you're tired of banging the slump busters at Spaceland....release a fucking christmas album for.......TARGET!!!!!! Thats right, Target commercials aren't for rubbing one out to Zoey Daschanel and her autotuned crap ass anymore. "Hey we are the Wavves and we make horrible ear raping music for people who like to buy shitty Korean electronics at a premium price." At least you can make a bong out of the TV when it dies in 4 months (you know....conveniently after the 90 day warranty expires) which is more than I can say for a shitty Wavves seasonal song. Ever had your ass and ears raped at the same time? Well now you can because this questionable Wavves "song" is a collaborative effort with Best Coast. This is where you chug a bottle of industrial cleaner and ram poppers into your nostrils because death will come much faster. Listening to this shit excuse for a song will only prolong the pain. But hey, if that's your thing then download the song and I'll point you in the direction of a great Dominatrix from the classifieds of the LA Xpress.