Cash Grab of the Week: Passion Pit the new Rolling Stones

I don't know how I came upon it but I did. A Bio for a band so ridiculous and insane that you'd think they were fucking making it up...and they are
It got me mad, well about as mad as I CAN get after huffing half my supply of paint thinner. Alright, I'm still pretty fucking mad.

Well, if you would've read their bio you would be mad too. I mean these guys haven't even accomplished anything outside of looking "pro," handing out their cds to be future redneck shotgun targets, and filling the "hexham heads slot" at big festivals. If playing at 2pm makes you a success then Im not a garbage picker, Im a new food designer. Playing to the hot dog vendor outside the venue doesn't count either. For the record that guy fucking loves your music...its too bad he doesn't speak english and can't figure out what the fuck you're saying.

Guess how the band started??? The douchebag in charge started singing shitty love songs to his girlfriend!! What the fuck!!11 So you can't just be a hipster you have to be a pussy too?? As much as I want to hear "I'm sorry I gave you chlymydia in your eyes when I was skull fucking you" I'd rather spend my money on a high ball of "x" with finger prints on it.
Fuck it here's half of their shitty bio(you don't want to read the whole thing, you're gonna have to trust the spikster on this one):

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Michael Angelakos hears music in his head and knows exactly how he wants it to sound. The young composer/performer has already created two studio masterpieces -- Manners and Chunk of Change -- and -- with his fellow musicians in Passion Pit -- is taking his perfectionist pop vision to a whole new level in concert.

Soulful, memorable, danceable, earnest and unabashedly pop, the music Michael Angelakos delivers on Passion Pit's debut album, Manners, reveals a complex and challenging 21st century sound and sensibility, baroque and intricate in its construction with exquisitely soaring hooks and melodies coupled with enigmatic lyrics flowing straight from the id.

Launched a mere three years ago as a humble one man multi-track laptop project in Angelakos' college dorm room, Passion Pit has rapidly evolved under fire into an in-demand concert attraction, with sold out tours and a growing international reputation based on the power and immediacy of the music.

Passion Pit is a two-fold entity sharing a single essence: there's in-the-studio Passion Pit, essentially comprised of Michael writing, designing, and constructing intricate cathedrals of sound, and Nathan Donmoyer handling live percussion and programming. Ian Hultquist is also featured on Manners performing guitar on songs such as "Make Light" and "Moth's Wings." And then there is the in-concert Passion Pit, a loose yet tightly calibrated ensemble who turn Angelakos' musical studio blueprints into a cathartic live experience.

Angelakos was 20 years old when Passion Pit took its first hold on his psyche in the form of a multi-song "Valentine" to his then-girlfriend, recorded in his bedroom on readily available ad hoc technology including the built-in microphone on his laptop. After signing with indie label Frenchkiss, he opted to add more recordings that had been made shortly after the he self-released the collection of songs -- including the signature track "Sleepyhead."
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No sane human being should ever write this kind of shit about themselves in any profession in any field anywhere. You're not curing cancer man, you're making the worst shit rock on the fucking planet. Only one question remains did they write their own bio or did one of their moms write it for them??