No Peace Until the Stars Run Cold

Dreams. We all have them. Some dreams, like yours, are fucking worthless. Mine are like diamonds. Or, you know, a brick of uncut skag or something.

One dream that I never had was to become a political advisor. Still, I can't help but try sometimes when I meet a candidate like Mitt Romney or Wink Hartman (R-KS). Wink...now there's a bold human being. Bolder than bold. Bolder than the fact that I'm using the word "bold" even though I have no idea what it means in this context. Motherfucking Shit Ass BOLD.

Anyway, Wink Hartman is a worthless bastard because he refuses to accept my campaign slogan suggestions. Here's a taste of the pure fucking gold that has been pouring out of the Facebook account that Wink has still been unable to block:

- Wink Hartman--finally a congressman who can describe the taste of human brains in real detail!

-Wink Hartman: Tough man, gentle raping.

- Wink helps dealers in the community by buying 20 lbs of pure smack every day, all to support the local street economy. No other candidate cares about stemming the currently ballooning heroin exchange rate (and speaking of heroin and balloons, Wink makes a great drug mule). Finally a candidate that addresses the issues YOU care about!

- Wink Hartman: Recently cleared of ALL 28 counts of human slavery and trafficking.

- Kennel the elderly! Join Wink Hartman!

- Vote for Wink Hartman--Because we're all doomed anyway. Might as well hassle the Mexicans a bit before we go, eh?

- Stay on the Anti-Christ's good side: Vote Wink Hartman for Congress in 2010.