Here is Why Your Band is a Horrible, Miserable Failure

Why is your band doomed to play Canter's Deli's men's room YET AGAIN (and not get paid)? Because none of your fucking gigs sound like this!

Metallic KO by the Stooges.

If you're curious why it's the best live record, fast forward to the part where Iggy Pop responds to an audience that hates him by saying "We don't hate you. We don't even care!" This after already being pelted with anything that wasn't nailed down for 30 minutes or so already. There's nothing quite like a live album with audible "beer bottle hitting stage" sounds.

Or....

Queens of the Stone Age at the Bizarre Festival in a tiny German town called Weeze, Germany (Aug 18, 2001 - pre-Grohl)

"We'd like to end tonight by giving you something for your head. Something we can all fucking relate to in any language...and that's drugs."

Or....

The Doors in Miami, where Jim Morrison asks someone in the audience to come on stage and "love him", calls them "a bunch of slaves", tries to incite a riot, fails to incite a riot, and then settles for pretending to show the audience his penis.


Or....

The Oasis gig where meth'd up Liam runs around stage looking for a fix and hits Noel with a tambourine.


So in short, brutalize your fans and other band members, do lines of crystal meth off the monitors behind the stage, and make sure that your audience knows that they're all a buncha fuckin' idiots.