Tea Party=Big Fucking Racists

Despite what the guy selling sunglasses and windshield repair in Menifee says Spike loves the Tea Party. But, he also loves half priced cool ranch dorittos. The Tea Party's basic platform is: No Taxes, No Blacks, Tips, Tits, No Mexicans, No Government, and an increase in Social Security...Casino Morongo won't accept my collectible gold coins or my survivalist equipment anymore, and fuck..they now charge for parking. So, I'm happy to say the Tea Party will soon have Abe Lincoln's support. If there's one guy who hates black people and mexicans as much as I do its gotta be Abe Lincoln. Hey, scumfucks like us have to stick together.

Dear Mr. Lincoln

We Coloreds have taken a vote and decided that we don’t cotton to that whole emancipation thing. Freedom means having to work for real, think for ourselves, and take consequences along with the rewards. That is just far too much to ask of us Colored People and we demand that it stop!

In fact we held a big meeting and took a vote in Kansas City this week. We voted to condemn a political revival of that old abolitionist spirit called the ‘tea party movement’.

The tea party position to “end the bailouts” for example is just silly. Bailouts are just big money welfare and isn’t that what we want all Coloreds to strive for? What kind of racist would want to end big money welfare? What they need to do is start handing the bail outs directly to us coloreds! Of course, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People is the only responsible party that should be granted the right to disperse the funds.

And the ridiculous idea of “reduce[ing] the size and intrusiveness of government.” What kind of massa would ever not want to control my life? As Coloreds we must have somebody care for us otherwise we would be on our own, have to think for ourselves and make decisions!

The racist tea parties also demand that the government “stop the out of control spending.” Again, they directly target coloreds. That means we Coloreds would have to compete for jobs like everybody else and that is just not right.

Perhaps the most racist point of all in the tea parties is their demand that government “stop raising our taxes.” That is outrageous! How will we coloreds ever get a wide screen TV in every room if non-coloreds get to keep what they earn? Totally racist! The tea party expects coloreds to be productive members of society?

Mr. Lincoln, you were the greatest racist ever. We had a great gig. Three squares, room and board, all our decisions made by the massa in the house. Please repeal the 13th and 14th Amendments and let us get back to where we belong.

Sincerely

Precious Ben Jealous, Tom’s Nephew NAACP Head Colored Person

preach on

Behind the Scenes: My Skag Supply Runs Low

THIS is how's its done!!!!1

Eat GHB for Breakfast

Alright, cut the shit -- Turn off the Yo La Tengo! Hide your gay porn collection! Take off the women's underwear and pretend for one second that you're a man with actual balls and not a hipster kid who writes fucking love songs about his organic celery juice enema supply (Or if you're a woman, just try not to break your computer monitor with all dry humping of the screen you're about to do when you read my brilliant and abusive coke-fuelled insights).

Kids, drugs are good for you. I know this is true because I read it on a blog somewhere. Now, GHB is REALLY fucking good for you. Wait, no! Stop your internal monologue. I can hear it now, "Spike, that can't be true because the bible and my 5th grade teacher told me so, even though that guy was fired because later they found out he had a $300 a day coke habit. Why would you say that they are good for you!?" The same reason that I throw sheets of LSD on the unsuspecting audiences at the gigs I sneak into--because I can.

Here's what the internet has told me about GHB so far-- It does not cause you to trip and rip the teeth out of your girlfriend. Good shit to know, man. I need to know more, except I don't want to talk to a scientist. Those motherfuckers are always lying:


A quick search for "shitty website that wastes your goddamned time" pulls up an article by some asshole who brings up a good point, "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE THINGS PEOPLE ARE CLAIMING, THAT GHB IS GOOD FOR YOU, AND THAT IT IS NOT ADDICTIVE????" Yeah, what about ALL THOSE PEOPLE SAYING THAT????? There must be a lot of them because this guy wrote it IN ALL CAPS.

Hey, my doctor/dealer, Tommy Chong, says all drugs are good for you. In fact, if you did nothing but ate reds, smoked crack, and drank everclear all day you would live forever. Or at least you would stop whining about things that don't affect you in any way to strangers on some stupid forum that no one reads.

Apparently this guy's man on the streets tells him that the kids have a new name for a GHB high:

there are street words for this also when ever the person passes out and drools on themselves and has poor muscle control it is said that person is in the "G hold." After the person goes into a comma type thing and begins to throw up and have poor breathing then they are in the G hole

Back in the Spikester's day, a "G Hold" was something else entirely, and you could spend most of your meager coke budget trying to find a prositute limber enough to do one. But I stopped admitting to doing that years ago, man. Just like butt hash (that's what the kids are calling it). Yeah, the best source for what "the kids" are calling things is an old person who invents drug "epidemics" just to scare other old people into putting their kids into expensive private schools...where they finally get access to the REALLY good shit. Just ask this fuckster:

You Can Thank Me Later, Fuckos: I Killed Shiloe's Career

Oh fuck, oh fuck...I'm coming down off of my last few lines of ajax and fiberglass powder. I need something to kill the buzz--let's see what Shiloe's doing. Typing in myspace.com/shiloemusic...oh shit 404 error not found! Looks like I wiped my ass with their careers enough to make them ashamed of their shitty myspace site. Next up: Hexham Heads. They're totally a different band guys. Seriously.

Now if you're like me, you don't really think of them as a band. You think of them as 2 assholes who just keep pushing it until their luck (or parent's money) runs out. So usually I don't pay them any mind. But last week I was on CDBaby trying to review the Shiloe CD I found in the dumpster of Shakey's on Pico last week, when I saw some fucking hipster beat me to it. AND...he actually got it right! Holy shit, looks like I'm getting the message out about their shitty guitar raping "music."

"Tour De Force"
author: Rondell Gilkey
I bought this mp3 net release because of all the buzz swirling around the LA Scene (What the fuck?! All the "buzz"?!? - spike). They are not bad per se, but their songs tend to run together. I was disappointed because they say they sound like BRMC but they really only sound like Sonic Youth (which they fucking don't. Come to think of it, they don't sound like Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, either - spike).

Alright Rondell Gilkey, you're starting to get to me now. In what fucked up, ass-backwards universe is Spike Anderson not the biggest threat to Shiloe's reputation?!? I've spent years slagging them off to whatever paint-huffing, disappointed porn surfer stumbles across my shitty internet posts, and if anyone's going to get an angry email from Ken Ramos it's going to be ME.

Fuckin' Quit it.

"Its like being inside a giant pussy, man. -My dealer Tommy Chong

Some dickhead took a brick on my library computer...and I got this shitty email

Some guys never learn, ya know? Like that bum who's always hiding behind the dumpster at mcdonalds these guys aren't afraid to give a halfway decent handjob or even a z-job if your dad is paying. Some jerk thought I played drums and sent me this shitty email. I had to set him straight...right after I kicked him in the baby makers. Check out this shit peddler:
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from "J. C. Martin"
to "spikeanderson"

Hi Spike,

This is J. C. Martin from Black Angel. We have had a really good four piece band with Reed Barnham on bass; Candy Davider on lead and back-up vocals and percussion; Mike Michaels on drums; and me on lead vocals and guitar. We just started booking shows and had two shows booked for July and August. I was all set to book 12 or 15 shows when our drummer, Mike Michaels, decided to pull out and concentrate on his other parts of his life. Mike is going to play a show with us at Mr. T's Bowl and Nightclub in Highland Park (Los Angeles) on Saturday night July 3 at 10:00 p.m. and the second show if we need him. This band really kicks ass and is headed for the BIG TIME. We now have 38,750 friends on MySpace; have had 245,000 visits to this site; we are being played on 850 FM and internet radio stations; and we have had acclaim for having the Song Of The Year for 2007 by Chuck Eddy, senior music editor of Billboard Magazine in New York. Check us out at www.MySpace.com/BlackAngelBand. We have been offered over ten record distribution deals, but haven't accepted any of them because they won't put any real money up until we "make something happen". That is what we plan to do with our live shows. We have been rehearsing at Albatross Studios in Ventura and in Van Nuys. If you are interested, let me know and I will send you an MP3 with our latest songs on them. Thanks for your interest.

J. C. Martin


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from spike
to J.C Martin


where do I start...ok

1) from a drummer's point of view the music is boring.

2) mr. t's bowl is a terrible venue and not one that bands that "are going somewhere" should be playing.

3) you guys really need to work on your singing this whole ripping off the rolling stones thing just isn't working.

good luck, you'll need it.
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from J.C. Martin
to spikeanderson


fuck you

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from spikeanderson
to J.C. Martin


fuck me?? I was just being honest which is more then your bandmates or friends will do apparently because you keep going.

love,

spike

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from J.C. Martin
to spikeanderson

Dude,
Anyone who puts his goal in music is surviving is a LOSER. Attached you will find that my song, "One Beer" was selected as the Song Of The Year for 2007 by Chuck Eddy, senior music editor of Billboard Magazine in New York, NY. The song has been played on over 850 radio stations worldwide. Attached are reviews or our other albums. I am going to spam you from now on as your mother and father obviously never taught you that "Don't say anything if it isn't nice".

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THINK YOU CAN READ THIS FOR FREE WITHOUT SENDING SOME SKAG MONEY MY WAY? THINK AGAIN, FUCKO. CLICK ON THE PHOTO AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE AND BUY A SPIKE ANDERSON T-SHIRT SO I WON'T HAVE TO PUBLISH YOUR IP ON HERE AND SEND ALL THE NAMBLA MEMBERS/SHILOE FANS WHO READ THIS AFTER YOU.

Joseph Lieberman is a punk ass!!!!!!11

So, that fucker Joe Lieberman(the guy who used to be a democrat and is now a republican) has a new idea for the internet. He wants the president to be able to shut it down via a "kill switch." I can't read but my roommate Larry was nice enough to read it through a microphone for me(bad side effect of too many reds).
Want to see how this shithead voted? Well, usually I charge a handful of amyls and a couple drags of nitrous but hey I'm feeling "medicated" so why the fuck not?

www.votesmart.org/voting_category.php?can_id=53278

The guy is a pussy because now he's "backing off" according to Yahoo news. Look it up shit stain!!1

Best Riot Since '63