Cash Grab of the Week: Spike Andersons

Yeah fucko, you read that right: "Spike Andersons." Plural. As in, multiple fuckbags who are trying to cash in on the Spike Anderson Media/Needle Empire by using my name. Damnit, this is going to hurt sales of Spike's Cokegate Toothpaste (the only paste that lets you brush your teeth AND rub coke into them at the same time). So I guess I'm famous now or something. How do I know? Because I've been getting a lot of hits lately. Also, people have been visiting the website a lot.

What the fuck man, what's with all these people trying to steal my name by being born with it?! And really, who would be born with a name that bad? I wasn't even born with it, myself--I was born Needle Fuckbag Anderson, and I had to change my name to keep people out of my stash.

But I guess that didn't work, because now all the cash or westwood-style rubdowns that would normally come my way are going to this NAMBLA club roster:


First of all, I don't what the fuck he's doing to that dog, but it looks like he's showing it the kind of love only a 60 year old air force pilot from Texas could show it: corn-holing.




Hey, it's fuckin' Rivers Cuomo using his Target t-shirt and 'lude supply to pick up "the bitches." I'm pretty sure the one on the right is the lead singer of Rush.



The Grand Dragon of Wichita here seems like he's using my name to sell investment advice. My investment advice to him is to invest in getting a second hot plate for the methlab you call an office.



And finally there's this guy. I guess he's out there looking for underaged twinks or manning his Meth Lab, I don't fucking know.