Spike Anderson Presents - Great Moments in Shitty Band Decisions with Marty Stevens

Recently Spike Anderson, Esquire industries caught up with our new field correspondent, Marty Stevens. He followed an up and coming Los Angeles band on their recent tour of the Pacific Northwest. He tells us the experience was exhilarating and that every once and a while he was paid in pizza.

Marty "Buttbroom" Stevens, Field Correspondent

Shitloe, Pacific Northwest Barnstorming Tour '07

This is a rundown of the horrid shitloe '07 tour.

Day 1: Mood: Chipper -- Weather: Gay
Drive to SF and Play some shitty bar in San Fran. with other shitty band "Astral" they suck, they make 15 bucks selling CDs and 20 bucks for playing(chump change it cost them each like 300 dollars each to do this tour). Ken's vocals and the bass did not sound good. At least we got free drinks!! Highlight of the whole tour....

Day 2: Mood: Fuck this -- Weather: ...
Drive all the way to fucking oregon to play on some crappy university radio station. No one cares and the interviewer doesn't even let us talk. The people went out of their way to show they didn't give a shit. Later, they play a house party with no booze and get no pay. Also, they couldn't fit the kick drum in so the drummer had to play someone else's cheap, fucked up kick drum. Stay at some guys shitty apartment.


Day 3: Mood: Hungry, feed me -- Weather: Send Money!!
Drive all the way to Seattle and play way too early (like 930) at this shitty club. But, at least we get to man the door and take any money that comes in, right? Well, only like 15 people show so they make around 50 bucks. Great...we made some money.....no wait it cost 50 bucks to rent the place, no money. Sleep in some shit house. Wake up early so....

Working the Door: Pay to Play

Day 4: Mood: Dead in Fresno -- Weather: Where the fuck is the van.
..you could drive all the way down to SF for a free in-store at Rasputin!!! Great right?! Now they can sell their new cd...only..they end up playing to the sound guy and no one seems remotely interested except a homeless guy trying to steal CDs. THEY MAKE NO MONEY. Later, they play some dive bar. It turns out the first band stole all the beer and they end up playing to 15 people there to see the next band after us. The band makes no money and our van breaks down. It will cost a lot to fix it. Band members drive home separately. After all this the other band members wanted to play a show the next day on someone else's shitty equipment.


Rider: Item #29: Mustard Pump