Steve Johnson to the Rest of the World: "Why do They have to make the Horse Dope So Pure?!!1"

Hey Kids let me start this off by saying I fully endorse blaming any and all things - especially God himself for stepping on my drugs...4 maybe 6 times...AND making them less pure. Or even sometimes when the drugs are TOO PURE. Just like my buddy Steve Johnson because if there's anything a omnipotent and omnipresent being cares about...ITS A FUCKIN' BUFFALO BILLS FOOTBALL GAME THAT DOESN'T EVEN FUCKING MATTER ANYWAY. Hate to break it to you Steve but your shit "team"(much like needling herbal ecstacy, chow-hounding whip-its, and finger banging Salvia dabbling trailer park shit kids) were mathematically eliminated from relevance when the team was founded.

Two rambling junkies talk to one another...on ABC's dime. I just want to know the name of their supplier.

Fucksgiving Time: Be Thankful Your Co-workers Haven't Heard Your Shit Band Yet

Yep, the ole spikester is combining both shitty holidays into one piece of shit holiday full of hate, rage and plenty of heroin-stuffed turkey for all. We have all the fixin's: OG asbestos shake and lawn shavings stuffing and loads of speed-infused yams from the Applebee's dumpster.

Someone who is clearly in need of some "medicinal" crank is Mitt Romney. The poor sonuvabitch was in the news again and he's going to need something to soften the blow of being second to Sarah Palin(aka Ken Ramos aka The Human Cock Vacuum) as a Candidate. Polls indicate that he's under Sarah Palin much like every fratboy in Alaska was during the Summer of 1964. Getting back to Mitt Romney here's a piece from his Bio:
"At the culturally conservative Brigham Young, Romney continued to be sheltered from much of the upheaval of the era, and did not join in the few protests against the war or against the LDS Church's policy against giving full membership to blacks."

Great...so he's a racist AND a pussy.

But, enough about Mitt Romney the guy should've been a fuckin' blow job.
+You know, Speed is a great holiday drug. When you're alone and in pain sometimes you need something to ease that pain. Or, in this case just speed the pain up.

Whatever you end up doing this holiday season just stay the fuck out of cerritos

It doesn't take much to get media coverage these days. So fundamentalists are idiots--what else is new? And yet apparently the super-heroin that just arrived in LA isn't newsworthy. That skag baron Savage Henry is kicking back in a Koreatown motel room, playing grab ass with the maids and laughing while we're reading about some righteous dickhead who had swinger sex but still feels he can dictate morality to us...did I forget to mention that you can get super pure heroin now?!?

Pure skag is arriving by the van load in Glendale as we speak. This is the best thing to come across the border from Mexico since Dora the Explorer...or maybe "Lean Like a Cholo"

Quoting the article now, some fuck said this: "These kids out here are being introduced to real serious drugs, dirt cheap, and they don't know how pure and dangerous they are." Finally some good news for a change!! But goddamnit, these gold brickin' kids wouldn't know a real drug if I held them down in the bathroom of The Smell and shot 'em up with whatever lint I found in the pockets of my shitty flight jacket.

Hey, you can't judge me until you've walked a mile in the plastic bags I use for shoes. Or spent a week living in the crawlspace I sleep in above my band's rehearsal room. Here she is, home sweet home:
Note the piss jug on the left (also my pillow), and the pipe that I scavenge for bong parts. Finally, see that white powder everywhere? The whole place is covered with a fine dusting of coke for easy snorting. Of course, when it comes time for someone else to rehearse there I have to go to a pay-by-the-hour motel and seethe bitterly until I can crawl back up there, but it's a small price to pay for living in my own filth and not bathing for weeks at a time. You've got to be willing to do what it takes to make it (except for getting a day job and actually buying a place with a shower), and if you're not even playing in a band and don't need to "make it" anywhere except the corner of Pico and Slauson you can just get hammered and jerk off into another band's headphones when no one's looking.

Whatever he's on...trademark it, patent it, and put it in the Library of Congress

MADISON, Wis. – A rural Wisconsin man apparently enraged by Bristol Palin's "Dancing with the Stars" routine blasted his television with a shotgun, leading to an all-night standoff with a SWAT team, investigators said.

Steven Cowan, 67, was arrested Tuesday morning after officers coaxed him out of his house in Vermont, a rural community near Madison. Cowan, who is accused of threatening his wife with the gun after destroying the television, appeared in a Madison courtroom Wednesday on a charge of second-degree reckless endangerment. His bail was set at $1,500.

Cowan's attorney at the hearing, Jonas Bednarek, declined to comment.

Cowan's wife, Janice Cowan, told investigators that her husband suffers from bipolar disorder and had threatened her life in the past.

According to court documents, Janice Cowan said her husband came home Monday from the bar and had a beer with dinner before they settled down to watch "Dancing with the Stars."

When Palin, the 20-year-old daughter of tea party favorite Sarah Palin, began her routine, Cowan jumped up and began swearing, saying something like "The (expletive) politics." His wife said he was upset that a political figure's daughter was dancing on TV even though he felt she didn't have talent.

Janice Cowan told investigators her husband left the living room and reappeared 20 minutes later with his shotgun, "raging" with his face bright red, and blasted the TV. She said he then pointed the gun at her and told her to go fetch his pistols, and threatened to kill himself if she brought anyone back. According to the criminal complaint, Steven Cowan's daughter recently took away his handguns for safekeeping. It did not elaborate.

"He scared the bejebees out of me," she told detectives.

Janice Cowan fled the home and went to an attorney's office, where she phoned police.

She told officers that about 15 years ago her husband had threatened her with a machete when he couldn't find some ammunition and has threatened to shoot one of their cows.

She added he was under stress because of financial reasons, saying a doctor helping him with his mental health problems had suggested he temporarily turn over control of properties he rents out to the family's attorney. Calls on Wednesday to a number listed as the Cowans' could not be connected.

The Internet has been abuzz in recent days about how Bristol Palin, who has consistently landed at the bottom of the judges' leaderboard, has been able to remain on the ABC show. Some have suggested that voters — particularly supporters of her mother — have been voting in blocs and manipulating the system.

Both Palins have denied any organized vote-getting tactics. Bristol Palin says voters support her despite lackluster performances because she started the show with no dancing experience.

your new phone company

SOONER OR LATER, IT HAD TO HAPPEN. At CREDO, we've been fighting the right wing with our activist network and with millions in donations to progressive nonprofits. We figured our punches were landing. We were right.

ON MONDAY, GLENN BECK TARGETED CREDO MOBILE ON HIS SHOW — putting us and our friends on his infamous blackboard. Upset about our actions against Sarah Palin's Alaska on the Discovery Channel, Beck said ludicrous things about CREDO and about some of the great nonprofit groups we fund, like Media Matters for America, Color of Change and the Center for Constitutional Rights.

HE CALLED US ALL "SPOOKY EVIL DUDES." We doubt that Beck would call companies like AT&T that. After all, AT&T contributes hundreds of thousands of dollars to right-wing politicians, like Michele Bachmann and her House Tea Party Caucus members.

SO MAKE THE SWITCH AND JOIN CREDO MOBILE, America's only progressive phone company. The more members we have, the harder we can fight blowhards like Beck.

There is one thing that Beck got right during his tirade against us: He said CREDO practices "progressive philanthropy and activism."

Since 1985, CREDO has raised more than $65 million for nonprofits like the ones Beck named. And our CREDO Action network of 1.5 million activists fights for progressive causes like net neutrality, marriage equality and a woman's right to choose.

When you join CREDO Mobile, you'll get everything you expect from a mobile phone company — plus a whole lot more. Sign up today and get:*

• 25% off your monthly fee for 12 months

• Contract buyout credit up to $200

• No contract for 30 days**

• FREE shipping

• Number portability; keep your current number

• Nationwide coverage on the all-digital Sprint® network, reaching more than 280 million people.†

So act now and get a great deal — and the satisfaction of knowing that your phone company is on Glenn Beck's hit list.

If you found this because you're looking for more reasons to hate CREDO because Glenn Beck fucking told you so then do us all a favor and go fuck yourself.

Glenn Beck has no problem with companies that give money to causes that he promotes but suddenly when another company wants to spend their money that company is a fuckin' threat to America. What a hypocrite!!!11 It's simple capitalism and people can spend their money any way they want, fuckhead. Even if you don't agree with it let people have an opinion. I'll never understand this motherfucker....Fuck it...Just..Fuck it.

-Tommy C.

Looks like the Government found a new way to interrupt my phone sex calls to Hong Kong

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Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Prison Bitches...Hey its the American Dream

http://www.sott.net/articles/show/217115-Prison-Economics-Help-Drive-Ariz-Immigration-Law

Last year, two men showed up in Benson, Ariz., a small desert town 60 miles from the Mexico border, offering a deal. Glenn Nichols, the Benson city manager, remembers the pitch.

"The gentleman that's the main thrust of this thing has a huge turquoise ring on his finger," Nichols said. "He's a great big huge guy and I equated him to a car salesman."

What he was selling was a prison for women and children who were illegal immigrants.

"They talk [about] how positive this was going to be for the community," Nichols said, "the amount of money that we would realize from each prisoner on a daily rate."

But Nichols wasn't buying. He asked them how would they possibly keep a prison full for years - decades even - with illegal immigrants?

"They talked like they didn't have any doubt they could fill it," Nichols said.

That's because prison companies like this one had a plan - a new business model to lock up illegal immigrants. And the plan became Arizona's immigration law. The law is being challenged in the courts. But if it's upheld, it requires police to lock up anyone they stop who cannot show proof they entered the country legally.

When it was passed in April, it ignited a fire storm. Protesters chanted about racial profiling. Businesses threatened to boycott the state. Supporters were equally passionate, calling it a bold positive step to curb illegal immigration. But while the debate raged, few people were aware of how the law came about.

NPR spent the past several months analyzing hundreds of pages of campaign finance reports, lobbying documents and corporate records. What they show is a quiet, behind-the-scenes effort to help draft and pass Arizona Senate Bill 1070 by an industry that stands to benefit from it: the private prison industry.

Behold A Pale Whore - Memoirs by Spike

Damn! I dreamt that I woke up swimming in a pile of reds and black beauties! The reality of the situation is that I actually woke up face down in a pile of half-chewed cocktail wieners and Jager. I swear that's the last time I cruise the Craigslist "Missed Connections" section looking for the power twink with daddy issues that caught my eye on that fateful autumn morning. Trust me, sausage and anise flavored liquor is not the throat-gasm drip you think it is. But then again, I'm used to having beef franks lodged in the back of my throat....sometimes for pay but mostly for play.

So, lamenting my existence, I decided to slam some methaqualone. Next, I wept and rubbed some seed over my collection of old handbills. Good times, but then two stuck together flyers caught my eye. As I peeled away the 1978 Halloween Show advert for my former band PLO Handjob, I found this picture underneath.



It is a Pakistan Airlines advert from the same year. Bad taste? Even worse than reclaimed dumpster meat? Or just the government shoving a cold cock in your ear.